The Great Gummy Grading


Caiden Lujin, Staff Writer

Merriam-Webster defines a gummy as “a chewy gelatin-based candy that is often flavored with fruit”. But to us here at the Springs Newspaper Team, it is much more than that. A gummy is an art form, a delicacy in which its worth can only be determined by a group of highly-trained taste testers. To perfect a gummy is to make good on four categories: appearance, texture, taste, and smell, so we decided to rank 6 gummies to determine the undisputed gummy champion of the world. 

A rigorous process of calculation and deliberation led us to these results:


6th place: Welch’s Fruit Snacks (4.4/10)

Starting from the bottom-up, a childhood classic finishes last out of six contestants. Welch’s scored a 6 in texture, but the success ended there. The fruit snacks came in dead last in both taste and smell, plummeting its average to the bottom of the leaderboard.


5th place: Trolli Sour Gummy Worms (4.9/10)

In second to last comes Trolli’s rendition of the classic sour gummy worm, only scoring a half point higher than last place. Because Trolli could not quite get that extra tenth of a point to bump its rank to a 5, unfortunately this gummy can even not be classified as a middle-of-the-pack, but instead painfully below-average, partnering up with Welch’s as the only two to score under a 5. Trolli’s lowest-scoring category was smell with a 4.


4th place: Sour Patch Kids (5.6/10)

Perhaps the most controversial of decisions comes at #4 with Sour Patch Kids. The kids scored a 6.5 in every category except smell, in which they scored a 3, which was the beginning of the end for our sweet and sour friends. You have probably never even thought to smell Sour Patch Kids before today, but the lack of scent caused them to fall short of a top-3 spot on the leaderboard. 


3rd place: Swedish Fish (6.1/10)

Starting off our top three is Swedish Fish, scoring a 7.5 on both appearance and taste, but dropping off a bit on texture and smell, receiving ratings of 5 and 4.5 respectively. Fun fact: each fish is embroidered with the word “Swedish”.


2nd place: Haribo Gummy Bears (6.9/10)

Haribo already dominates the gummy game, but mopped the floor with the rest of the gummies in appearance, scoring an 8/10, the highest ranking of any category for any gummy. It’s hard to beat the classic multi-colored bears in a battle of the optics, despite the fact that the green one is strawberry-flavored, for some reason. The bears, however, could not scratch the surface of the sheer amount of consistency for our number one gummy, plummeting its average with a subpar 5.5 smell rating.


1st place: Lifesavers (7.6/10)

And the winner of this clash of gummies was the most consistent by far throughout the taste-testing, scoring a 7.5 on every category besides texture, where they scored an 8. Appearance-wise, the gummies are ring-shaped, presenting an opportunity we all surely have taken at least once — putting them around our fingers. Additionally, the workers at Lifesaver HQ perfected the gummy-ness and overall taste of the rings, and the kicker– they actually have an enjoyable smell to them. No other gummy came close in smell rating, as Lifesavers made their mark as the official gummy champion.